The Dating Book

The Dating Book

If you know me you know I’ve grown so much in the past year alone. Within that growth I’ve learn a lot about myself and about other people as well.

I’m single but I️ have a lot of knowledge and experience. On top of having experience I️ have learned a lot of lessons. I️ believe big time in signs. I’ve seen alottttttt of signs in my life time LOL and in this past year I️ have actually listened to them which in turn taught me the lessons that I️ feel like I️ can share with you all.

So I️ put together what I️ call “The Dating Book”

This will be chapter 1. Chapter 1 will include 5 rules and 2 prerequisites!

I’ll be giving tips and advice. And everything comes from my own personal experiences!

I️ believe that there are prerequisites YOU should meet before dating. The first and MOST important step (prerequisite) to dating is….

0. LOVE YOURSELF. You cannot successfully date or have a successful relationship without that first and why would you want to? How much real and good love can a broken person really give to someone? Loving yourself is MUCH more than just saying I️t. It’s actually figuring out what your own personal issues are and working towards making them better. I️t doesn’t happen over night!

00. Don’t chase anddon’t look. I️ know that’s probably easier said than done. But I️ think it’s really the best decision especially when you’re at a place where you think real love will never happen for you. Focus on yourself and relationships will become something small on your list of goals you want to achieve. Work on being the best version of yourself and watch what happens.

Okay now to good stuff!

1.Standards: Get them and KEEP THEM. This seems pretty obvious right? You’d be surprised how many women actually do not have standards. They don’t know what they want in or from a man. They put up with anything and everything just to say they have a man. (Being single is not the worse thing in the world ladies!!!) Standards are SO important because I️t sets the tone for how a man or woman will treat you. YOU NEED to know what you expect from them and so do they.

2.Know what you want AND what you dont. Recently I️ came across a post that said something like “a woman focusing on what she doesn’t want brings a continuous cycle”… truly, to me, I️t didn’t make sense. As a grown adult who chooses who they let in their space and life you should focus on all of I️t. You NEED to know what you do not want in a significant other, that way, when you recognize I️t you know that person isn’t the one for you. Why waste time on someone who does everything that you already don’t like? EGGGGZACTLY lol as soon as I️ spot what I️ don’t like, IM OUT! Now knowing what you Like is also important. How can you know when you find what you’re looking for if you don’t know what I️t is? For example, the man that I️ marry must be respectful, all across the board. If I️ see him randomly showing genuine respect to people…. that’s a plus for me!

3.Look at the good! When you’ve been hurt a lot it’s easy to point out the bad. But there is nothing wrong with seeing the good in what they do but BE SMART. Do not take this and be naive. Every man isn’t THE one but some of these guys are actually good men! Nobody likes to feel unappreciated so we shouldn’t make someone we’re dating or someone who’s courting us feel that way either!

4.Recognize Red Flags. Please… pretty please? A lot of the time us women see many red flags but decide to ignore them because we like the guy or we think we’re over thinking. Most likely you’re not overthinking!) some example red flags can be: inconsistency, picking arguments out of nothing, lying, inconsideration etc. When your intuition is telling you something, just listen! Especially if there isn’t much time put into it (majorKEY: although history should never be the main reason you stay with someone*)

Lastly for this chapter of The Dating Book:

5.Don’t tell everybody, everything. I️ know some women can get so happy about dating someone new that they tell everybody everything. Their friends, their family, social media. ISSA NO FOR ME DAWG. Don’t do I️t. What if I️t doesn’t work? Y’all been talking or dating for 2 months… I️t might not go past 2 months and a day. You don’t want to parade your new boo until it’s official. Now don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with updating your close friends on someone you’re starting to get serious about. But I personally believe social media is for boyfriends or higher! Even then if y’all don’t have time in, I️ don’t advise you to post them. Being private is just so much more better. Nothing like having something special for YOU and keeping I️t for you! Even when I️ had a boyfriend, I️t was STILL no face no case! I️ just think posting someone super early is jinxing I️t. Who wants to explain to everybody why you never talk about your lil bae no more? Everyone isn’t worth being bragged about!

That is the end of chapter one! I️ hope you all liked I️t, found I️t factual and helpful. If you think there are some things I️ could add to future chapters please let me know. Thanks Friends!!